It's time once again to join the "Big Brother 6" crew on their mystical journey into reality television. While half of the household is rejoicing in the recent coronation of Maggie as Head of Household, this same contingent is mourning the loss of their slain former leader, Eric, a.k.a. Cappy. While enemies like Sarah sneer that they "hope he's having fun watching us at home," his former flock misses the Pied Piper of "BB6" Town.

In absentia, Cappy begins to take on mythical proportions, which is quite a feat considering the man was all of four feet tall. HOH Maggie vows that she's blindly "going to follow exactly what Cappy wants" in her reign as the most powerful person in the house. We're starting to wonder what would have happened had Cappy whipped up some Kool-Aid for the group prior to his departure.

Doe-eyed Sarah begins to reveal herself to be a weak link in the Cool Kids alliance, consisting of her and her partner/boyfriend James, Kaysar and his new partner Janelle; and Howie and his partner Rachel. She moons around the house lamenting the possibility that James might be next up for eviction and claims to have no interest in staying in the house if he goes. James shows his loyalty to Sarah and her utter devotion to him by describing her as "beautiful and somewhat intelligent."

The housemates rush to the HOH bedroom to see what goodies Big Brother has provided to Maggie. They include such exciting items as a ceramic turtle, an ugly pillow, a picture of her dogs and -- ooooh -- Cracklin' Oat Bran. They're sparing no expense at "BB6" headquarters this year, apparently. Team Dork proceeds to have a love-fest on the bed, while the Cool Kids skedaddle out of there, presumably to smoke in the backyard.

Maggie summons Rachel and Howie to her lair for a chat. She's feeling them out by asking pointed questions about their motivations and loyalties. Howie is clearly praying that the "BB6" Summer of Secrets will include a secret passage that will suddenly appear, allowing him to escape this scrutiny. Maggie strikes a bargain with the duo, offering not to nominate either of them if they save her butt next week.

In an act of obvious desperation, James, a former Dork who managed to join the Cool Kids when they needed to use him, "tries to crawl back into the circle," as Beau describes it. He does this primarily by sticking his bare feet inches from Ivette's face as they lounge on a communal lawn chair out back. The Dorks aren't buying it, although for some reason Ivette doesn't complain about the proximity of James' toe jam to her head, probably because during this time, Jennifer is massaging her feet.

Maggie decides to screw with James by summoning him to her throne room and interrogating him. James, a lowly "loss prevention manager" (read: department store security guy) reveals his massive insecurity by deciding that Maggie, an ER nurse in real life, must, in fact, be a cop. They're in the same field but "she's a cop and they're allowed to beat people," he says, surrendering to his inevitable demise.

Oh, no. It's another Howie "I love boobies" segment. How the female housemates were creeped out by cast-out Michael's occasional weird behavior and lame come-on lines, but allow Howie to assess their assets seemingly every waking hour is a mystery. Even the guys aren't safe as poor Beau finds himself cornered by Howie, who keeps threatening to kiss him. Is that pool cold? Can someone throw Howie into it, already?

Hot on the heels of this is Craft Corner Deathmatch, starring Ivette. Seems this handy lady is responsible for such "BB6" innovations as the Plastic Bottle Hummingbird Feeder, Rug Checkers, the Ghetto Slide, the Coaster Game and an array of tasty dishes courtesy of her skill in Cooking with Condiments. Like everything else, Beau declares this to be "fabulous", especially after a week of PB&J.

Speaking of food, the housemates play "Matching Munchies" to win some for the coming week. It's like the old "Match Game" but with food for prizes and the notable absence of Charles Nelson Riley to spice things up. The "celebrity panel" is sporting an array of bad wigs and in the only display of wit we've seen from her yet, Jennifer describes Howie as looking like a second-rate Barbra Streisand.

The game is incredibly easy and the houseguests win real food for a week, plus a bonus prize which is the last two digits of the combination on the safe in the Goldmember room. What treasures could it hold? How about some PB&J sandwiches? One of them, however, contains a PB&J pass, which the owner can use to skip PB&J weeks or pass on to another player. Janelle wins it, to the annoyance of all the others.

Finally, Maggie announces her eviction picks. Team Dork is safe, of course, and Kaysar and James face the chopping block next week. That is, unless they can win the Golden Power of Veto.

-- Liz Scott lives in Philadelphia. Her hobbies include listening to Prince, watching "Cops" and reading about celebrities.